Wow... it's been a long long time since I posted... and so much has happened since then. Switched jobs, fractured my hand, got married. Moments like these always make me realise that life is passing by so fast.

Fracturing my hand is definitely something an event that i will look back on and remember. It's really the first time i've ever injured myself. When the senior orthopedic surgeon looks at you and intones solemnly, "that looks serious", you start to get worried. And functioning with one hand is definitely an interesting experience. Makes you realise that the human body is a fragile thing. We all have our usual accumulation of aches and joint problems, but to be handicapped like that is a humbling experience especially since we tend to assume that we're invincible when we're young. I know fracturing one's hand doesn't compare to others who have had far more serious things happen to them, but it was still a life-changing experience in its own small way.

And the funny part was that it happened right before I got married in June this year. Yet another life-changing experience. We chose a park in Vancouver (where we were vacationing), and the weather and scenery was perfect. I was really glad that my mom was there to share in the moment, and that I was able to make this commitment to someone whom I love very much. Sometimes, it just feels right, you know? This was one of those moments.

I guess life will always move on, but I will always look back on moments like these and think, that was a life worth living. They might not be earth-shattering, but they matter to me and the people I love.

The funny thing was that I was originally gonna talk about my shrinking social circle (now that my lindy friends are leaving for greener pastures) but this seems a good spot to end. Guess i'll talk about it some other day :)

This week's been mighty busy, but been meaning to post about space in Singapore for a while. Or the lack thereof.

The common perception is that the US is freer, more liberal, more diverse, more morally run-down than Singapore. Having studied for four years, I'm pretty sure that perception is both right and wrong. Parts of the US can be way more liberal than Singapore will every be, while other parts, like Utah (for instance), would make Singapore seem like a mecca of debauchery and free-thinkers.

What the US has is space. Tons of it, both physical and mental and emotional. Because it is so big, everyone has the freedom to do his or her own thing, to pursue a niche in life. Of course, that can be both good and bad. Only in the US can you have a bank which gives out free guns with every new account. But then again, only in the US could you push for gender orientation and sexuality to be included in the definition of hate crimes and non-discrimination ordnance.

That's an issue here in Singapore. The lack of space here means that everyone, by sheer societal pressure, gets forced into the same nooks and cubbyholes. Some say that's a necessary thing, that we need XX number of engineers and IT people in order for Singapore to prosper.

I would say that it is no point if those XX engineers are unhappy and drop out of the profession because they are demoralised and frustrated. It is a philosophical disagreement, I suppose, with the fact that we have chosen to at times completely sacrifice the individual for the community.

Such a bargain is going to become more and more difficult to make in a globalised environment, where people can seek out the kinds of lives and careers that they want. The world is literally our playground. But if we allow everyone to get their way, then what about the conservative silent majority in Singapore, the ones who can't fly away to other countries? These are the same people who would object if we allowed same-sex marriage, or liberalised the censorship regime in Singapore.
Is it fair to disregard their views in favour of the liberal minority?

Maybe it's because I feel the same sense of tension. As someone who studied in the US, and someone who works in and strongly believes in the Civil Service here, I see both sides of the argumen t.

I don't know. I don't have an answer, but i do know that we need to find more ways to create this space in Singapore.

Been thinking about posting for a while, and decided to after seeing my friend's blogs. (thanks instantoats!)

Always been meaning to keep a diary, but am too lazy to do so. Since i spend so much time on the internet, or at my computer, figured this might be an easier way to put my rambling, and sometimes frenetic thoughts down.

Been thinking a lot about life lately. What I want out of it, what we all want out of life. What makes life happy? What makes someone's life fulfilling? The age old answers come to mind... money, glory, power, sex. Or is it something more subtle, something that can't easily be captured in one or two words or pictures. Waking up and knowing you have the whole day free. Knowing that you have people who love you, and that you have people you love. Being able to lie down and gaze up at a sunny sky as the clouds go by.

I believe happiness comes from squeezing every last drop out of life. Knowing that you've not wasted one single moment. Knowing that when someone looks at your tombstone, he or she will say, "wow, that person really lived life to the fullest". I've told a lot of my friends this, but the words from "Gallileo" by the Indigo Girls really capture a lot of how I feel about life in general.

"How long till my soul gets it right
Can any human being ever reach that kind of light
I call on the resting soul of Galileo
King of night vision
King of insight"