Read through my friends' blogs earlier this evening. It's so interesting to see everyone's blogging styles. Maybe it reveals something about a person. Mine, for instance, tend to be long-drawn out rambling pieces. Maybe i'm just long-winded that way :P

Ok. Wow.

I think i just saw a movie that will stay with me for some time, if not the rest of my life. Maybe i'll look back on this post in a few years and cringe at how cliched that sounds, but that's how i feel right now.

Before Sunset. Just caught it with a bunch of friends. A movie that seems so natural, and yet is so well-put together. It's a sequel to Before Sunrise, a 1994 movie in which characters played by Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke meet up and forge a connection over one night in Vienna. They agree to meet 6 months later in Vienna.... and this movie is about what has happened to the two characters 9 years later.

I won't go into the details of the movie, but suffice to say that the movie is suffused with tones of bittersweet reminiscence of what could have been, and hope that a re-connection could have been established. Julie Delpy (Celine) and Ethan Hawke (Jesse) both fall into the easy rhythms of their characters, and something in the way they talk, look and enjoy each other's presence indicates that the two of them have a soul-deep connection that neither can explain.

I enjoyed this movie a lot more than Before Sunrise, which i thought was a little too talky at times. This one is emotionally richer, and the fact that it takes place over 80 minutes of real-time makes the characters and the conversation much more real. There are great lines, and great conversational humour, and there are moments of quiet when a shiver just goes up your spine. When Jesse and Celine's emotions and pain spill out into the open, I couldn't help but feel for these characters.

Even now, thinking back on certain scenes, make me feel both happy and sad. Sad for the lost chances, and yet happy that Celine and Jesse got a second chance. So many thoughts are bouncing in my mind right now... but few movies have ever made me feel this fuzzy and happy inside.

Maybe it's because i identify with the movie. Being in a long-distance relationship, feeling like sometimes i'm running in place till we can be together again, envious of friends who have left Singapore or managed to settle down with their significant others in Singapore....

Such a movie gives me renewed hope. Light at the end of the tunnel... and all that

Been kinda stressed out at work lately.... and thinking back, i realise that i fell into the trap of letting someone push my buttons

I've always been touchy when it comes to issues of right and wrong. Funny thing is, I hate people who jump to quick judgements, who make moral judgements in their own mental boxes. Yet at the same time, I react vehemently when I feel that someone has wronged me.

Then I over-react. My emotions seize up, and my brain can't focus on anything except the act.

This has always been an issue for me, I guess. Must be the temper I inherited from mom. Have always lost my temper when I felt that something wasn't going right, and I'll be the first one to admit that I was often petulant and petty when I was a kid. One of my most significant growing up experiences was in college. I had ranted at my college acapella group over email cos I felt that they weren't pulling my weight. They of course proceeded to ignore me, which was a humbling experience. Looking back on it now, it's both funny and cringe-worthy.

A friend of mine once commented that I was the most driven and determined person she had ever seen. I guess sometimes it's useful to take a step back, take a deep breath, and not think about stuff. Yup, just gotta keep going.

I've always been a voracious reader, but most of the books i read tend to fall into the fantasy category. Lone Wolf, David Eddings, Piers Anthony.

Any time i've read other types of books, it's always been for class, and they all tend to be serious. Ibsen, Charles Dickens, Asian-american literature... you get the idea Which might explain why I tend to zoom straight to fantasy. It's like brain candy (good brain candy, but candy nonetheless)

Anyway, the point is... i've decided that I want to consciously expand my reading repertoire. Doesn't mean I'll go and pick up Chauncer from Borders though , but it does mean i might pick up something other than the next Dungeons and Dragons book.

As a result, I've been reading What's Eating Gilbert Grape? over the past week. Saw the movie and liked it, so decided to give the book a shot. And i've loved it. Although the book's main character is a 24 year old emotionally stilted guy in the middle of Iowa, I felt a lot of empathy for the story and the titular hero of the book. The little insecurities and frustrations of everyday life, the simple minutiae and battles that we fight, and a stifling sense of ennui... these are all things that I feel from time to time. And this is one of the few times that I felt a sense of resolution and release upon reaching the emotional conclusion of the book. So for anyone looking for a good read, I would strongly recommend it.

Another book I've been flipping through is a collection of memoirs by Amy Tan (of Joy Luck Club). In it, she talks about her life and how her experiences have shaped her writing. Will write more about it in a future blog, but the first thing that leapt out at me is how Asian mothers the world over all seem to have similar issues and also pass on the same emotional baggage to their kids.