Old young new fast slow

Let's start with some random links.

Lazy Sunday - funny SNL clip
Zingermans Bakehouse - possibly the best bakeshop ever

Random thought. The problem with liking chocolates so much is that everyone thinks it's a great Xmas gift to give, especially at the office. I have 10 boxes of chocolates on my desk at the moment (2 of which are already finished!). AHHHH!
Besides the chocolates, i also got 2 bottles of cologne. I wonder if that's a hint of any sort.....

Hung out with L and Arie today till quite late. We watched Narnia, had expensive Kopitiam food (fish balls fish balls!) and then some decent chocolate desserts with a helping of bad service at Cineleisure.

Narnia was ok, but not great. It was emotionally engaging, and it hit all the right spots, but it didn't soar like Lord of the Rings did. To put it in a different context, it was like a good bowl of large fish ball kway teow soup. Filling, and decent, but not the best food by far.

It was cool hanging out with L and Arie, even though, in L's words, I looked like an uncle trying to be a kid taking his kids out to the beach (thanks soooo much L). It was the first time I had hung out with Arie, and I think the wilder twists and turns that the conversation took might have been an eye-opener ( especially the strange part about peeing like a dog at the right urinal... heh). But she asked to meet H, and her wish is my command ;)

One of the interesting questions that popped up was the qualities I looked for in a partner. While i've blogged about it before, this was the answer i gave :
"someone who is goofy in a certain way, who intellectually and emotionally challenges and engages me so that I grow as a person together with that partner in a mutual relationship"

Thought about it today. Why is important that that someone should be goofy in a certain way? I guess it's because i know i'm too serious, too black and white in my own views sometimes. Being goofy myself is a kind of balance to that more serious side of my personality. And so that significant other of mine needs to also be comfortable being goofy or at least be comfortable dealing with my goofiness :) And the good thing is, H can definitely be quite goofy. One of the things i treasure most about our relationship is the fact that i can completely let down my guard when with H. Even if we are arguing about cookies and biscuits, sal-mon and sell-mon, lifts and elevators (inside joke. if you wanna know why we argue, ask me or H sometime).

And i get to see him in 3 days!

Ajantis can't wait....

T'was dark and all through the night

It's Christmas. Joy reflection merriment laughter presents cheer.

Spent the night at Timbre and then at Harry's with swing pals.

Many emotions.

Sadness at not being able to spend it with H.
Wonder that yet another year has passed.
But most of all, gratitude for having a group of swing friends who give me perspective and keep me going.

Bee, Oats, Trich, HM, M, we started swing together... can't believe it's been 4 years!
E, Selena, Fish, C and of course L ... we might not have started it together, but I do feel grateful to have met (and danced with) each and everyone of you ... (and yes, that includes the guys on this list :P)

And to anyone else I should have put in, but left out (due to being groggy at 4:22am in the morning), thank you as well.

Have a merry christmas, and may peace be with you always.

Ajantis is fond of using brackets at 4:24 am on Christmas morning.

What is the world coming to?

Read a sobering post about child pornography in the US on the New York Times. How one 13 year old kid can be so easily seduced by a group of pedophiles online in the safety of his own home. These pedophiles conspired to get him to believe that it was normal to take his clothes off and do sexual favours online for free gifts and money. And the way they did it, one small step at a time.. and how the internet community that they formed only encouraged them to think that what they were doing was justifiable, and that the real culprits were the young boys and girls who tempted them with their flesh....

All of it, and more, is quite disturbing. This is what they mean by the dark side of the internet.

Ok, time to move on to a lighter-hearted topic.

Places I want to visit before settling down :
1) Herrang!
2) Bhutan (mountains and sheeps and goats and weekly archery contests oh my!)
3) The Appalachian mountain trails (I wanna hike this for all 4 months that is needed to walk the trail)
4) Europe - anywhere (see 1)
5) Kilimanjaro
6) Vietnam

If you could choose one place to go to tomorrow with your significant someone, who would it be?

Been having strange dreams lately (or rather, been remembering them) :P
- Running a marathon, and realising that my Timberland shoes had split. Thinking "damn, but well at least Timberland shoes are lifetime guaranteed". Running home to changem y shoes and missing the rest point for the marathon. Stopping by the National Library (which had conveniently located itself by my apartment). Realising that I had forgotten to put my playstation portable back while running to the relay point. Stopping by a tutition student's house to drop off the playstation. And then getting into an argument with the mom cos I had assigned the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to my student as a reading assignment, which the mom deemed too "christian".
- another weird dream : driving a bus from somewhere in the city down little alleys back home. careening the bus from side to side while narrowly missing some drains. realising i was falling asleep while driving and forcing myself to wake up. then actually waking up.

As L says, I am weird.

Ajantis is weird.

Lightness of being

It's amazing what a good chat with a close friend will do for you. That's one of the things i've missed most since coming back to the US. A good chat with a friend who actively listens and contributes to the conversation really helps put things in perspective.

I ended up walking home feeling much lighter than i have in months. The Haagen-Daaz ice cream, the vegetable fritters and fish paste you tiao all helped of course. Yum :)

Everything works out in the end. Work isn't everything. And it's little moments like these, these times when you connect and share with your friends, that get me through the days till I can be with H.

Thanks E ;)

Quiescent posteriors

Short quick post.

Was rehearsing in performance class today, and practicing a move with Bee. And somehow, several times in a row, couldn't help but end up grabbing her butt.

Other random thoughts :

Have had a crush 4 times in this life so far. Once in JC, once on H, and twice in swing (bizarre right!) Maybe it just means that i'm fated to hang out with swing geeks ;) Which also means that i need to convert H to a swing dancer :) Anyone wanna help?

Ate way too much today. Besides pho and calamari and 2 scoops of ice cream with B, I ended up scarfing takoyaki balls on the way home. Ai....

Ajantis is counting in his dreams....

Randomness. Leadership. Puppies

Random thoughts about management :
1. Set clear expectations and targets
2. Provide support and guidance
3. Provide feedback about the job, not the person
4. Take emotions out of it
5. Serve the people you lead

I always feel like there is so much more I could do as a manager and leader...

Sad sad story. Brokeback Mountain. Go watch it (if it ever arrives in Singapore).

Are you a dog person? What kind of breeds (and no, not Dino, L's elbow-humping poodle thingy).... H and I were talking, and we both decided we didn't want a big dog, or a dog so small that you could step on it without thinking (so, no chihuahuas in a teacup, either)
We kinda decided on a french bulldog. Most people seem to think it ugly, but I personally find it cute. So what breed would you want?

Was listening to launchcast today, and a song came on that I hadn't heard for sometime. Ani Di Franco's 32 Flavors came on. Sheer aural bliss. Love the lyrics.

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some

Ajantis is probably only made up of 15 flavors

Whim wham whoom

Actually feeling stressed about work. Really stressed. Too many balls to juggle. And friends who know will tell you that it takes a lot to get me stressed.

Need to find time to sit down and untangle my jumbled mind right now. Complete de-frag!

We'll see.

Ajantis is stressed with a capital S

The reactions of atomic dust

So was talking to some friends who read my blog yesterday. It was nice to get some support, although I was irritated at the common refrain - "oh don't mind XX, he/she's usually like that + he/she was probably worse than usual cos he/she had a flu"

That wasn't a fair reaction cos said friends were trying to be supportive. So i started trying to figure out why that refrain got my hackles up. Part of it comes from the authoritarian part ofme that likes to figure out who is right and wrong.

But a larger part of it was, and this is as best as i can put it : It's ok if you are having a bad day, and are being a bit more irritable than usual. But let us know it so that I know not to set you off. It doesn't take that much to be self-aware and say, "hey, i'm having a bad day, so don't do XXX". But to be kinda passive aggressive about it is just annoying. So the reason the refrain mentioned above annoys me is because it is too easy an excuse, because it gives the person too easy an out just because he/she is like that or he/she is having a bad day.

I am feeling a lot better today though. Thanks guys (you know who you are)

Part of the reason I might be feeling better -- note the tendency to attribute everything to reasons and causes -- is discovering one of the currently fastest fading fads online -- Lip-synching. L had already sent me some links, but saw an article about it yesterday and started surfing for videos. I have to say, some of these guys are quite talented at making a fool of themselves. My fav are the Back Dormitory Boys.

Of course campiness/silliness are quite different from sheer lack of talent and a monstrous ego. It is quite amazing... and scary when you look at the kind of stuff you can find on the net. brrrr.

Alright. Time to go play some DQ VIII (and no, not Dairy Queen... Dragon Quest!)

Picking the lint while navel gazing

Many questions today. Not sure what the proper response is.

What do you do when you think someone is mean to you? Do you excuse that person cos he or she is feeling sick? Do you speak up, knowing that if you say something in the heat of the moment, it could mess things up? Which is not a good thing seeing as how you have to keep practicing with each other? Even if being criticised (possibly unfairly) made you feel lousy about yourself as a person, or more specifically, as a dancer? what if, what if, what if.

Ah well. But as fish reminded me, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. So life goes on.

Went to watch Rent today. Was interested to see how I'd react to it. Reviews have criticised it for seeming dated, a product of its time. The last time I saw it it didn't seem that way.... but that was 3 years ago.

Having watched it, I must say that I wasn't as excited by it as I was 3-4 years ago. Part of that excitement stemmed from knowing that a piece like Rent could be staged in Singapore, that such mental space was actually available to the public. So watching it for the 2nd time seemed a little bit like old hat. Part of it was because Karen Mok was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS. Her Mimi was an absolute ditz, instead of the tragic sexy ingenue that she was supposed to be. Her voice was completely swallowed up by the others, she over-sang, and her big number where she was supposed to gyrate on stage, came across as.... little more than a girl trying to play-act salaciousness. And finally, yes, part of the reason for my lessened enjoyment was that Rent was dated. In the end, it was more a pleasant visit with an old friend than an exciting reunion with an ex-flame.

Life moves on.

Had an interesting discussion with both fish and H about the death penalty as a result of the recent . Some people are ok with the death penalty per se, but not with it being mandatory, because of the removal of any form of discretion. My reaction to H was that the issue with a mandatory death penalty was a non-existent one. This is because due process would have allowed for cases where the person did not intentionally commit the crime (eg. where he was tricked into it). My other reaction was that any person who committed the crime would have done so knowing what the penalty was.

But in the end, it comes down to whether you (a) believe in universal human values and (b) agree on what those human values are ie. whether the sanctity of a human life is absolute.

Anyway, these are morbid thoughts to be having for the end of year. Christmas is here, H will be here soon, and I have a bonus to spend!

Ajantis hates eggs and broccoli