Old young new fast slow

Let's start with some random links.

Lazy Sunday - funny SNL clip
Zingermans Bakehouse - possibly the best bakeshop ever

Random thought. The problem with liking chocolates so much is that everyone thinks it's a great Xmas gift to give, especially at the office. I have 10 boxes of chocolates on my desk at the moment (2 of which are already finished!). AHHHH!
Besides the chocolates, i also got 2 bottles of cologne. I wonder if that's a hint of any sort.....

Hung out with L and Arie today till quite late. We watched Narnia, had expensive Kopitiam food (fish balls fish balls!) and then some decent chocolate desserts with a helping of bad service at Cineleisure.

Narnia was ok, but not great. It was emotionally engaging, and it hit all the right spots, but it didn't soar like Lord of the Rings did. To put it in a different context, it was like a good bowl of large fish ball kway teow soup. Filling, and decent, but not the best food by far.

It was cool hanging out with L and Arie, even though, in L's words, I looked like an uncle trying to be a kid taking his kids out to the beach (thanks soooo much L). It was the first time I had hung out with Arie, and I think the wilder twists and turns that the conversation took might have been an eye-opener ( especially the strange part about peeing like a dog at the right urinal... heh). But she asked to meet H, and her wish is my command ;)

One of the interesting questions that popped up was the qualities I looked for in a partner. While i've blogged about it before, this was the answer i gave :
"someone who is goofy in a certain way, who intellectually and emotionally challenges and engages me so that I grow as a person together with that partner in a mutual relationship"

Thought about it today. Why is important that that someone should be goofy in a certain way? I guess it's because i know i'm too serious, too black and white in my own views sometimes. Being goofy myself is a kind of balance to that more serious side of my personality. And so that significant other of mine needs to also be comfortable being goofy or at least be comfortable dealing with my goofiness :) And the good thing is, H can definitely be quite goofy. One of the things i treasure most about our relationship is the fact that i can completely let down my guard when with H. Even if we are arguing about cookies and biscuits, sal-mon and sell-mon, lifts and elevators (inside joke. if you wanna know why we argue, ask me or H sometime).

And i get to see him in 3 days!

Ajantis can't wait....

T'was dark and all through the night

It's Christmas. Joy reflection merriment laughter presents cheer.

Spent the night at Timbre and then at Harry's with swing pals.

Many emotions.

Sadness at not being able to spend it with H.
Wonder that yet another year has passed.
But most of all, gratitude for having a group of swing friends who give me perspective and keep me going.

Bee, Oats, Trich, HM, M, we started swing together... can't believe it's been 4 years!
E, Selena, Fish, C and of course L ... we might not have started it together, but I do feel grateful to have met (and danced with) each and everyone of you ... (and yes, that includes the guys on this list :P)

And to anyone else I should have put in, but left out (due to being groggy at 4:22am in the morning), thank you as well.

Have a merry christmas, and may peace be with you always.

Ajantis is fond of using brackets at 4:24 am on Christmas morning.

What is the world coming to?

Read a sobering post about child pornography in the US on the New York Times. How one 13 year old kid can be so easily seduced by a group of pedophiles online in the safety of his own home. These pedophiles conspired to get him to believe that it was normal to take his clothes off and do sexual favours online for free gifts and money. And the way they did it, one small step at a time.. and how the internet community that they formed only encouraged them to think that what they were doing was justifiable, and that the real culprits were the young boys and girls who tempted them with their flesh....

All of it, and more, is quite disturbing. This is what they mean by the dark side of the internet.

Ok, time to move on to a lighter-hearted topic.

Places I want to visit before settling down :
1) Herrang!
2) Bhutan (mountains and sheeps and goats and weekly archery contests oh my!)
3) The Appalachian mountain trails (I wanna hike this for all 4 months that is needed to walk the trail)
4) Europe - anywhere (see 1)
5) Kilimanjaro
6) Vietnam

If you could choose one place to go to tomorrow with your significant someone, who would it be?

Been having strange dreams lately (or rather, been remembering them) :P
- Running a marathon, and realising that my Timberland shoes had split. Thinking "damn, but well at least Timberland shoes are lifetime guaranteed". Running home to changem y shoes and missing the rest point for the marathon. Stopping by the National Library (which had conveniently located itself by my apartment). Realising that I had forgotten to put my playstation portable back while running to the relay point. Stopping by a tutition student's house to drop off the playstation. And then getting into an argument with the mom cos I had assigned the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe to my student as a reading assignment, which the mom deemed too "christian".
- another weird dream : driving a bus from somewhere in the city down little alleys back home. careening the bus from side to side while narrowly missing some drains. realising i was falling asleep while driving and forcing myself to wake up. then actually waking up.

As L says, I am weird.

Ajantis is weird.

Lightness of being

It's amazing what a good chat with a close friend will do for you. That's one of the things i've missed most since coming back to the US. A good chat with a friend who actively listens and contributes to the conversation really helps put things in perspective.

I ended up walking home feeling much lighter than i have in months. The Haagen-Daaz ice cream, the vegetable fritters and fish paste you tiao all helped of course. Yum :)

Everything works out in the end. Work isn't everything. And it's little moments like these, these times when you connect and share with your friends, that get me through the days till I can be with H.

Thanks E ;)

Quiescent posteriors

Short quick post.

Was rehearsing in performance class today, and practicing a move with Bee. And somehow, several times in a row, couldn't help but end up grabbing her butt.

Other random thoughts :

Have had a crush 4 times in this life so far. Once in JC, once on H, and twice in swing (bizarre right!) Maybe it just means that i'm fated to hang out with swing geeks ;) Which also means that i need to convert H to a swing dancer :) Anyone wanna help?

Ate way too much today. Besides pho and calamari and 2 scoops of ice cream with B, I ended up scarfing takoyaki balls on the way home. Ai....

Ajantis is counting in his dreams....

Randomness. Leadership. Puppies

Random thoughts about management :
1. Set clear expectations and targets
2. Provide support and guidance
3. Provide feedback about the job, not the person
4. Take emotions out of it
5. Serve the people you lead

I always feel like there is so much more I could do as a manager and leader...

Sad sad story. Brokeback Mountain. Go watch it (if it ever arrives in Singapore).

Are you a dog person? What kind of breeds (and no, not Dino, L's elbow-humping poodle thingy).... H and I were talking, and we both decided we didn't want a big dog, or a dog so small that you could step on it without thinking (so, no chihuahuas in a teacup, either)
We kinda decided on a french bulldog. Most people seem to think it ugly, but I personally find it cute. So what breed would you want?

Was listening to launchcast today, and a song came on that I hadn't heard for sometime. Ani Di Franco's 32 Flavors came on. Sheer aural bliss. Love the lyrics.

squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some

Ajantis is probably only made up of 15 flavors

Whim wham whoom

Actually feeling stressed about work. Really stressed. Too many balls to juggle. And friends who know will tell you that it takes a lot to get me stressed.

Need to find time to sit down and untangle my jumbled mind right now. Complete de-frag!

We'll see.

Ajantis is stressed with a capital S

The reactions of atomic dust

So was talking to some friends who read my blog yesterday. It was nice to get some support, although I was irritated at the common refrain - "oh don't mind XX, he/she's usually like that + he/she was probably worse than usual cos he/she had a flu"

That wasn't a fair reaction cos said friends were trying to be supportive. So i started trying to figure out why that refrain got my hackles up. Part of it comes from the authoritarian part ofme that likes to figure out who is right and wrong.

But a larger part of it was, and this is as best as i can put it : It's ok if you are having a bad day, and are being a bit more irritable than usual. But let us know it so that I know not to set you off. It doesn't take that much to be self-aware and say, "hey, i'm having a bad day, so don't do XXX". But to be kinda passive aggressive about it is just annoying. So the reason the refrain mentioned above annoys me is because it is too easy an excuse, because it gives the person too easy an out just because he/she is like that or he/she is having a bad day.

I am feeling a lot better today though. Thanks guys (you know who you are)

Part of the reason I might be feeling better -- note the tendency to attribute everything to reasons and causes -- is discovering one of the currently fastest fading fads online -- Lip-synching. L had already sent me some links, but saw an article about it yesterday and started surfing for videos. I have to say, some of these guys are quite talented at making a fool of themselves. My fav are the Back Dormitory Boys.

Of course campiness/silliness are quite different from sheer lack of talent and a monstrous ego. It is quite amazing... and scary when you look at the kind of stuff you can find on the net. brrrr.

Alright. Time to go play some DQ VIII (and no, not Dairy Queen... Dragon Quest!)

Picking the lint while navel gazing

Many questions today. Not sure what the proper response is.

What do you do when you think someone is mean to you? Do you excuse that person cos he or she is feeling sick? Do you speak up, knowing that if you say something in the heat of the moment, it could mess things up? Which is not a good thing seeing as how you have to keep practicing with each other? Even if being criticised (possibly unfairly) made you feel lousy about yourself as a person, or more specifically, as a dancer? what if, what if, what if.

Ah well. But as fish reminded me, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. So life goes on.

Went to watch Rent today. Was interested to see how I'd react to it. Reviews have criticised it for seeming dated, a product of its time. The last time I saw it it didn't seem that way.... but that was 3 years ago.

Having watched it, I must say that I wasn't as excited by it as I was 3-4 years ago. Part of that excitement stemmed from knowing that a piece like Rent could be staged in Singapore, that such mental space was actually available to the public. So watching it for the 2nd time seemed a little bit like old hat. Part of it was because Karen Mok was ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS. Her Mimi was an absolute ditz, instead of the tragic sexy ingenue that she was supposed to be. Her voice was completely swallowed up by the others, she over-sang, and her big number where she was supposed to gyrate on stage, came across as.... little more than a girl trying to play-act salaciousness. And finally, yes, part of the reason for my lessened enjoyment was that Rent was dated. In the end, it was more a pleasant visit with an old friend than an exciting reunion with an ex-flame.

Life moves on.

Had an interesting discussion with both fish and H about the death penalty as a result of the recent . Some people are ok with the death penalty per se, but not with it being mandatory, because of the removal of any form of discretion. My reaction to H was that the issue with a mandatory death penalty was a non-existent one. This is because due process would have allowed for cases where the person did not intentionally commit the crime (eg. where he was tricked into it). My other reaction was that any person who committed the crime would have done so knowing what the penalty was.

But in the end, it comes down to whether you (a) believe in universal human values and (b) agree on what those human values are ie. whether the sanctity of a human life is absolute.

Anyway, these are morbid thoughts to be having for the end of year. Christmas is here, H will be here soon, and I have a bonus to spend!

Ajantis hates eggs and broccoli

Beef consomme!

Random funny stuff from the past few weeks....

Saw one of the worst ever puns at one of the local food courts. Thaksin beef noodles. We are bullish about beefing you up! I think THW might actually appreciate the sheer punniness of that. Another punny food slogan from Clark Quay... We are En-Thai-Ly Thai.



So at M's chi-chi farewell party for Siv the other day, we saw a travel show featuring turkish oil wrestlers. Now, the sight of half-naked beefy hairy Turkish men wrestling while drenched with oil is already somewhat homo-erotic, but what capped it off was when the men started reaching into each other's pants. And there are actually whole websites, moves and rules devoted to this sport.

Was chatting with L today about the state of Lindy here. It seems kinda strange that you really only see about 14-15 dancers who regularly show up and are at a comfortable enough level with the dance, unlike other scenes where there seem to be more regulars. That said, my limited experience with the US scene in Ann Arbor and Michigan indicates that the number of dancers, and the number of more advanced dancers, is also not that big. And perhaps part of the reason why the scene is not large is also because we do not interact much with the Lindy Hop Ensemble, and do not go to each other's swing events. Is there something more we should be doing as L Hoppers to grow the scene? Maybe reach out more to the intermediate dancers? I really don't know. This topic has been debated ad nauseum on the chatterbugs websites, but I still don't think we have a good answer.

Another random article seen this week. Sunday Life featured an interview with this 30 year old engineer who had saved $250k, in contrast to many of his peers who were struggling with massive credit card bills and other unsecured loans. Now that sounds impressive, until you realise that this $250k included CPF savings (that accumulates at 20% of your income anyway!)
That's one of the things i've learnt to be careful about when reading reports, papers, etc. The statistics and policies you read are often based upon certain assumptions....

In some ways, that was one of the most useful lessons i took out of political science and into work/life, which is the importance of being rigorous in one's thinking. Was reminded about this most recently when reading a book called Freakonomics, which aimed to answer everyday questions using the methods and approaches of social science. Questions like : why do crack dealers still live with their mothers? Do sumo wrestlers really cheat? (answer : they do, sometimes). Let me give an example from this book : In Israel, these child care centres were experiencing a problem with parents picking up their kids after the stipulated time. So they decided to impose a fine, but that only resulted in more parents picking up their kids later. Why? Because the imposition of a fine made parents feel like it was ok to pick up their kids late. The imposition of a financial disincentive was more than outweighed by the removal of a moral incentive to be on time. Parents no longer felt guilty, as shown by the fact that a higher number of parents still picked their kids up late after the fine was removed. I guess what I took away from this book was the idea that we need to be very thorough and vigorous in anything that we do. If you pick up this book, read the section on school teachers and sumo wrestlers. The way in which the author builds up and proves his theory is simply beautiful.

On a less esoteric note, RENT is coming to town. RENT! One of my favorite musicals, and it's the Broadway Cast this time. No half-past-six mix of Filipino and local actors this time, even if Karen Mok is going to be Mimi.

2 months till H is here. Can't wait!

Ajantis is aching for a baking....

Boats and dragons racing

Back from Wisconsin and Michigan. Was a fun fun trip, both work and relationship wise, but far too short. Didn't do anything unusual while I was in Michigan, which was nice cos that part of the trip was only 6 days.

Highlights of the trip :
1) Hanging out with Gimble. Kinda neat to see how things that were decided when the group first started had influenced how the group operated today. Kinda strange to realise how old I was compared to the kids now in Gimble

2) Catching up with old friends. Hung out with M and her fiancee, and caught up with H as well.

3) Good food! Ate at Zingerman's Roadhouse twice, and let me tell you, they had the yummiest rum tum yummy calamari i've ever had...

4) Good weather. Last time i went back, it was -20 celsius. Brrr. Not so much fun

5) Swing dancing! In Ann Arbor! Lotsa exclaimation points! :P

One good thing was that I didn't gain any weight! Woo hoo! First time that's happened on a trip back to the US. Which is not surprising given how gimongous US portions can be. The first time my mom went over there, she ended up ladling 2/3rds of her plate onto mine and H's plates.

Speaking of weight, this recent study quoted in USA Today tells us that you should start worrying when you gain 5 pounds, cos your body then starts adjusting to that new weight. So 5 pounds = bad. That could be the tagline for a new diet fad... 5 pounds bad, 0 pounds good....
Bad taglines = me :)

Was talking with L recently about what career would be more preferable. Lindy Hop teacher, or professional video game reviewer, all things equal (ie. salary). Surprisingly, I picked the former, reason being that as a professional video game reviewer, I would have to review even bad games. While as a Lindy Hop teacher, you have control over how you teach, and get enjoyment even out of helping mediocre dancers. Food for thought.

Oh, and I will be going dragon boat racing! Yes, me... dragon. boat. racing. Corporate thingy that I kinda had to lead. Oh well. It will be a trip, and my team is very on about it. They even signed on for extra lessons. >< Yikes.

And on that note, signing off now.

Ajantis is boating dragons for a race...

Jet-lagged in cheeseland

So here i am sitting alone in a hotel room in Madison, Wisconsin, where Selenasol has officially corrected me over yahoo that Wisconsin is known as cheeseland, not cowland.

Should i be amused that the first thing i am told upon arriving in Wisconsin is that the World Dairy Convention is behind held in town , RIGHT NOW? God forbid.

Forgive the slight sarcasm. Had one of the worst flights ever. 17 hours to LAX on the new SQ airbus. Nice economy plus seats. Good snacks. Room to stretch. Good deal right? Not when you're in the 2nd row behind 2 kids screaming literally non-stop the entire flight. What capped the whole experience was when they fell asleep just as the lights came on.

To top it off, we had a 7 hour layover in LA cos the people arranging the trip were told to ensure no missed connections, resulting in a red-eye 3 hour flight from LA to Chicago.

So my body clock is all messed up, and my stomach and brain and body are telling me many things. Stay up! Sleep! Eat! Run around! Be goofy! Well, guess that's not too different from how i normally behave anyway :)

oh well, meetings tomorrow, so i should get to bed now. 5 more days till H. and I get to visit Gimble, which will be fun.

Ajantis is lagging the jet, or jagging the lag.

Ikea binging

So I went with L to Ikea last week, cos i had a $50 dollar voucher to use up and I hate shopping for furniture alone. And seeing as there was nothing that particularly appealed to me, we decided to use it at the cafe. The only problem was that you wouldn't get any change back. So we decided to see if we could spend all $50 dollars of it.

The final bill? $53.30 something cents. We had 3 main courses, soup, drinks, and more desserts than you can count. Somehow, the two of us bottomless pits managed to finish it. Even though I'm not sure I want to see a swedish meatball anytime in the future.

Hanging out with L was fun. I told H that what I value about a lot of my closer friends is that I get to be goofy and silly, which is my natural state. That's how you know how comfortable I am with you, really -- it's how silly i dare to act around you. A lot of people always think I'm really stern and unyielding on first impression (and there is that side to me), but then realise i'm just mostly a soft teddy bear.

But yeah, L is one of the few guys I can be completely goofy around. Which is neat. Probably the only other local guy is J from JC. But he's married and has a 4 year old kid now (!) so I hardly ever get to see him. So L will be the EGMYB for now ;)

L also passed me Final Fantasy 7 : Advent Children. It's a CG movie sequel to the FF7 video game. Awesome awesome graphics. And can i say that they got the fighting sequences perfectly. Gotta love them super-heroic fighs. All of this just whets my appetite for FFX. What can i say? I'm a super nerdy video game geek.... although I am going to get some UFO pants (see post about 10 things that make you a geek)


On other fronts :

The ankle still isn't fully recovered, and I keep having to postpone the appointment with the sports doctor. It's alright, i will keep running someday.

Going to Wisconsin for work in a few days. Should be an interesting trip, especially since I don't have to be the main person staffing. The good news is that I might be able to take a side trip to Michigan to see H :) Talk about pleasant surprises.

Things you will NEVER EVER catch me eating :
1) Omelette
2) Raw worms
3) Broccoli
4) Liver
5) Congealed pig's blood

Ajantis has nightmares of monstrous swedish meatballs....

Of Male Cheerleaders and Wacky Otakus

Was surfing through one of my favorite video game website and saw this game today.

http://www.gamespot.com/ds/puzzle/ouendan/preview_6132078-2.html

Yes, the Japanese truly have a wacky sense of humour. Only they could come up with a game where you play a trio of male cheerleaders who must make their way around Japan helping people who need cheering. Yes, you heard me. Japanese. Male. Cheerleaders. And it's a rhythm based game.

Ossu! Tatakae! Ouendan! :)

Decided not to go for the Army Half Marathon today. Pulled my ankle 2 weeks ago. It was recovering, but I pulled it by running 10km again on Tues as part of my warm-up. Since I was planning to originally go for the half-marathon in December anyway, it's not that big a deal. Although the ornery part of me was still deliberating about it up until the last moment. Oh well.

Played a funny game with J last week. We were rating potential one-night stands and partners (different!) in the lindy community . Our tastes weren't too far apart, apparently.

Which got me thinking... what do i find attractive in a person? Some thoughts for tonight :
1) Someone who I can talk with (and not just talk to)
2) A good voice
3) Liberal
4) Sense of humour
5) Good-natured
6) Calls me out on stuff when i'm being silly
7) Good cook
8) Huggable
9) Non-ugly (I just need to not be scared to death when I see this person in the morning)
and many more, but those are the few that came to mind. And what's funny is that I already have a person in mind who has most, if not all of those qualities, and that i'm chuckling even as I write this. H might not dance, but that might still change :)

Time to sign off.
Ajantis is smiling....

AHM

Have decided. Am going to run the Army Half Marathon . Brrr.

My original promise was to run either a 10km or a half marathon at the end of the year. Am up to 38km a week now, with the longest run at 17km. My boss tells me I can do it... even if the last 5km is gonna be a pain and a half.

Reflecting back on the training over the past 6 months, I have to say that it's been quite a trip. After huffing and puffing through the first performance class, and realising how relatively unfit I was, I resolved to work on my fitness. Pounding the treadmill that first time for 3.4km was not fun, I tell you.

So yes, there is a sense of accomplishment at having reached 17+km. It's kinda zen-like, almost. Running so regularly, combined with regular workouts, have really helped my fitness. Funnily enough, my complexion has also improved.... don't really get huge zits on my face anymore, or is it just that my face has finally decided to stop rebelling and wallowing in its angsty adolescent years.

Only problem now is that various parts of my legs take turns to complain after each run. Some times it's the calf, sometimes the shin, sometimes the ankle. Knowing how ornery I can be about such things, gonna have to be extra careful so that I don't hurt myself in trying to keep up with the mileage, so to speak.

I'm definitely going to keep on running after this. It is de-stressing, and quite relaxing (ah, those endorphins at work!). Before I commit to any other races though, we'll see how the AHM goes :)

Watch this space for more updates!

Ajantis keeps running...

Doggy bags

Was pondering over whether to get this game tonight.

Nintendogs.... it's all the rage in Japan. Essentially, it's a glorified Tamagotchi (for those old enough to remember that phase). You can train your puppy to perform tricks upon voice commands, play with it, pat it etc etc. So tempting, but it's 310 bucks down the drain (250 bucks for the DS system and 55 buck s for the game). Can I help it though if i'm a sucker for puppies?

I've always wanted dogs, but circumstances always conspired to prevent that. Childhood allergies to dog fur, Singapore's restrictions upon dog sizes in HDB flats. You get the idea.

But i've always been more of a dog person than a cat person. So if and when we move out of our current HDB flat, you can bet that we will be getting a dog (allergies be damned!)

Thankfully, H is a dog person too, although we have slightly different opinions about which breed to get. We eventually settled on pugs, bulldogs, or frenchies. (I flatly refused when it came to rottweilers, and H thought Golden Retrievers were dumb). Why bulldogs? Most people think that they are ugly, whereas I tend to find their features uniquely cute. Don't ask me why. It's probably the same reason I hate vegetables and refuse to eat egg, even in fried carrot cake. :P
If you really pressed me, I might say that it's because they are compact, supposedly loyal, and because their squashed features just seem to fit so well with the way their body is shaped.

Vegetables, eggs... blech. But that's a story for another day.

Ajantis is turning green

Boob bibbies

It's been a long time since the last blog.

This weekend has been kind of a recharging weekend. Had a tough time at work last week, and was a little in the pits. But taking the time away from work this weekend, going to Harry's, going to performance group, was a good way to shake myself out of the doldrums. There are things to do, and moping around isn't gonna get them done :)

One of the things I did this weekend was to run a 10km race. It was surprisingly easy, and i was quite pleased with the 49 min time since I was still hacking like there was no tomorrow (finally caught the flu bug that's been going around). Made me realise how de-stressing running had been. And it feels good to be healthier and fitter. For one thing, my complexion has definitely improved... fewer huge zits... (having said that, Murphy's law dictates that I will now break out horrendously tomorrow). They also had free massages! And it was a real sports massage... which made me realise how excruciatingly tight my thigh muscles were. Time to get some physiotherapy.

Performance group was fun today. While I still couldn't do forward rolls properly (which is strange, considering I used to be able to do them in JC), I did manage to get off a handstand and a feeble attempt at a cartwheel. Learning aerials is also a different way to think about body awareness and lindy hop.

And Harry's was good last night. Even if we did spend some time talking about boob bibbies and assorted other geeky stuff that annoyed P to no end. Well, maybe that's why it was better than usual ;)

Ok, time to sign off before this degenerates into more blather.

Here's to the new week!

31 kilometres and counting...

That's how far I ran this week. 7.5km on Mon. 9km on Wed. And 14.6km on Sat.

Amazing to think that I was at 3km a run and 9km a week only 4 months ago. The human body is an amazing thing. Resilient.... and yet so fragile. Lance Armstrong's story always amazes me. How a person can come back from testicular cancer, to win the Tour de France SEVEN TIMES running, is simply amazing. Guess that is a testament to the strength of the human mind as well.

Was at a National Day Dinner last night (yes, that's part of my job description now). They had some very professional entertainment on stage, including a famous singer from Taiwan. While I enjoyed some of the acts, what hit me was how much MORE some of the other guests were enjoying it. Try as I might, I couldn't completely enjoy it like some of the dialect speaking aunties and uncles at the dinner.

That's one of the things i've always been struggling with. Am I a banana? :P My family all speaks dialect and we all come from very modest backgrounds. I still recall the story of my youngest aunt eating a baby rat. Heh. But I've also gone to the US, spent 4 years there. And while I don't spend much on eating out, i do go to chi-chi (to quote Ming) with friends (like ..... Les Amis) which my family usually won't go to. That's part of the reason why I've always been interested in Asian-American culture; I identify with the same sense of duality that pervades Asian American literature and culture.

Also got to meet a charming man at the dinner. We hit it off right away even though there was a 40-50 year age difference. And guess what we connected over? Chocolate :) That's one of the things I like about this job. That it gets me out of the office and allows me to meet so many different people, both great and small. Keeps one humble.

Ajantis is dreaming of Royce White Chocolate...

Long time no see

Not much to blog about today, just some random thoughts... and Link madness!

Funny video... with extremely campy lyrics/cheesy singing

Yummy sushi or... is it yummy cookies?

Ran 13.4 km the other day.... in sunny weather and in 1 hour 16 minutes. Feels good :)
But am i crazy to be pushing my body this much when my knees are already giving me trouble? For those who do not know, i suffer from loose kneecaps, or in medical terms (Patella Femoral Syndrom). This means that my knee gets painful and achy when I put too much pressure on it.
Strangely enough, the knee has improved since i started running. I honestly need to get to the doctor and start physiotherapy though.

Read Rich Day Poor Dad the other day. It's an interesting read, and it was nice to know that I was doing some things right. While it wasn't the eye-opener that everyone has made it out to be, it did make me aware that I should be financially astute with everything that I do. Must... save... more for next move :)

Ajantis and his list of errands...

It was a dark and stormy night...

A friend complained that my last post was too arcane :)

So here's something completely random.

Songs playing on my Creative MP3 player while running tonight :

All Saints
Pure Shores

Gimble
Demons (acapella)
Counting Blue Cars (acapella)

Craig David
What's Your Flava

Nelly
Hot in Here
Batter Up

Indigo Girls
Midnight Train to Georgia
Ghost
Closer to Fine

Swing Tunes
Regular Joe
If I Didn't Have You
Let's Call the Whole Thing Off

Chuggin a-luggin.....

This is the run that never ends....

2.5 rounds around Bedok Reservoir! 2.5 X 4.3 km = 10.75km .... in 1 hour and 2 min :)

That half marathon is looking more achievable everyday.....

I blogged a while ago about how running is relaxing cos it's the only time my squirrel-like demented little brain actually stops firing on 8 different cylinders. At once.

So strangely enough, while running today, my brain was dwelling on public policy. And the ramifications thereof.

How do we truly achieve networked government? It is right that each department owns and champions certain functions. This allows for deep knowledge and advocacy by a department. Decisions that run across different departments can be reconciled by senior management. But what happens when it happens across different Ministries? I keep thinking back to the issue of hot dog stands in Singapore. Some smart soul suggested that the government permit this in Singapore. We agreed. Except that URA, the function owner, limited the timing and location of these mobile food vans to minimise disruption to the public, thereby preventing these entrepreneurs from even coming close to making a profit.

Another question : How do we ensure efficiency while giving autonomy? If too much is devolved, then economies of scale are lost. But if we take autonomy away, then we are unable to make truly effective and efficient decisions at the ground level. This could then contribute to greater efficiency at the macro level. One example this plays out in is in HR. If I don't trust line managers to judge properly, then I would impose strict conditions and rules. Yet, this might keep them from selecting and grooming the right kind of people. Where is this ideal tipping point, of pareto-optimality that allows for maximum effectiveness (rather than efficiency?)

Ok, this is getting a little too cheem. I was gonna say something about levels of power, but will leave that be for now.

Ajantis is in a daze....

Through the looking glass

Life is weird.

Caught a strange sight on Channel 8 last night. On Saturdays, there is this variety show, with one of the segments being a competition. In the past, it used to be little kids karaoke-ing their hearts out (overly made up sequinned 5 year old girls trying to act sultry... ack). Now, it's morphed into some kind of dance competition.

So the usual hip hop groups come out and do their thang. Some good, some mediocre, some average. And then suddenly, I see a young teenage couple on TV. Dressed in ballroom attire. Yes. Ballroom attire. That means tight black pants, ruffled shirt, and some frilly little dress.
They start dancing to rock around the clock, which is rock and roll and swingable. Except they are NOT dancing swing. They are dancing some weird melange of West Coast Swing and Ballroom. Given that I HATE west coast swing and posey-ball room, this of course is close to the ultimate nightmare (i exaggerate, but you get the idea). Watching them was like driving red hot nails into my eyes. And to top it off, they were doing aerials. Yes, a pair of 14 year olds doing all these lindy aerials. Aerials which few in performance lindy class have been able to do.... yet.

Ok rant over :)

Other random thoughts :
1) Read Rich Dad Poor Dad this past week cos my boss has been talking about it. It's an interesting book which provides you good food for thought. Essentially, it's saying that we should be smart about money. Let it work for us rather than the other way round. Be careful of the liabilities and assets that you are taking on. Be smart in taking risks. Be disciplined.

In other words, easy to say, but hard to do. Nevertheless, it did make me realise that I need to work harder at being financially savvy. Took a look at my stock portfolio again and realised that things could have been done differently.

2) Highlight/funniest moment of the week : Staring at footloose's boobs on the bus to Milennia Walk in a misguided attempt to raise her self-esteem. Yes, footloose, our relationship has reached a whole new level! What will H think of that? (Actually, H found it quite hilarious)

Well, time to go. Signing off.

Ajantis is peering eagerly in the mirror.

The List Monster Arrives...

Had one of those days yesterday where everything just seemed to go wrong. Was alright after
a) Unloading mental stress on H over the phone
b) Running 9km today
c) Binging on food

Speaking of binging, my favorite junk food items are :
a) KFC Bandito Meal with Cheese Fries...
b) Most forms of chocolate
c) Cocoa Flavored Loacker Wafers
d) Famous Amos Cookies
e) Hokkien Prawn Mee (no egg and bean sprouts of course)...
f) and anything with Green Tea in it.

Borrowing from footloose, here's the following question :

If you could put down whatever you're doing right now and be in another place, where would you be and what would you be doing there, what would you be eating, where would you be living, and where would you go if you wanted to write?

Put down : Politicking, worries about work, a Singapore that does not allow for variation in thought or opinion
Where would I be : Vancouver with H and Mom
What would I be doing : Ideally? Computer/video game reviewing. In reality? Some entry level job in administration :)
What would I be eating : Good Japanese food! or Singaporean food....
Where would I go if I wanted to write : One of the many great parks in Vancouver.....

sigh. 4 years to that happening!

Good night.... Ajantis in Atlantis

Random musings on a pumpkin patch

So my colleague asked me today... "How are you doing?" or something to that effect. Essentially, she wanted to know if i was getting what i wanted out of the job.

Gave her a reply that was long and rambling, as is my wont :). But her question set me thinking... so here is an attempt at a more coherent and logical answer.

I am doing fine. The job is enjoyable, and definitely a lot more varied than I imagined it to be. Things are a lot better now that my boss is definitely taking a step back and passing the buck to me to take up. More stress, but also more autonomy and more responsibility. The culture is good, and fun. Where else would one's boss challenge you to dye your hair?

There are still sources of frustration, as is normal in any job. I feel like things are not getting done fast enough, but then again, that arises from my own control-freak tendencies to micro-manage anything and get things done myself if i have to. And that's definitely not the way to go. People are adults, not kids who have to be nagged and told each and every thing to do (well, unless they show that they need to be treated like kids)

While there is a lot of autonomy, it also means a lot of uncertainty and frustration when you have to deal with departments or partners that are beyond your control. This is especially when the departments at headquarters are.... a little passive, to say the least.

And finally, the last source of frustration stems from the simple fact that I am a highly insecure person, and that I belong to a group of employees who are always compared and ranked against each other. So i find myself nit-picking everything i do, trying to figure out whether what i am doing is in line with what my boss wants (and managing a political boss is a very new experience), wondering why I am spending less time churning out papers in my current job than before (which is a ridiculous worry, since doing that would mean trying to do the work of my 3 Deputy General Managers). Not so healthy, yes.

In a nutshell, I am fine, good and happy, but I still feel like there is much to learn. Does that answer your question, LH? :) And don't worry, I don't blow up often, even if u expect me to pull a Vesuvius sometime in the near future.

On other fronts (sounding like a weatherman here), I've finally broken the 9km barrier! Ran through Simei, past ITE Simei, up to Tampines, all the way around Tampines... in 51 min. Running... is fun, even if Len and Fish and everyone else calls me crazy :)

All this running will be good training for Mongolia.. gonna be walking and riding through the Gobi Desert in August. Yup, you heard me right. This nature-phobic scaredy-cat is gonna try and trek through the Gobi Desert and not hate every moment of it :) It's expensive, but better to have tried than to always regret passing it up, no? I just hope there's enough horse-riding training before hand so that I am butt-sore and duck-legged BEFORE the trip, rather than during and after it ;)

On that note, have a good night.

ajantis in atlantis.

A musical full of cheese

PCK the musical. Yes, I went to PCK the musical with my mom.

Cheese. Pure cheese. That's the only way I can describe it. That would have been fine if it had been high-order cheese, on the order of the Producers or Hairspray. You know, like high-class Gouda.

But PCK was cheesy cheese, the kind of cheese powder that u get on your very cheesy cheetos. You get the idea. If you don't, try imagining an opening scene where PCK is dreaming about his birthday, where he is first surrounded by some prancing clowns followed by female dancers dressed as crows.

Bizarre.

The tone was also wildly uneven, with some slapschticky songs, some deadly (and i do mean deadly) earnestly schlocky songs, and some rah-rah song and dance numbers.

Add to that a cast that, to be fair, weren't all professional musical theatre people, and you have a production where it feels like a high school production with above-average production values.

Oh well. It was a surreal cheesifying experience, the climax for me being the cabaret number done to "Sing Sing Sing", with the female dancers on their backs arching their butts and crossing their legs in the air. But it's what Mom wanted for Mother's Day. So, Happy Belated Mother's Day mom! :)

Power of Two

Friends of mine know i'm a die-hard romantic deep down inside....

which is why this is one of my favorite songs at the moment. Power of Two ... by the Indigo girls

Some of my favorite lyrics in the song ...

And if we ever leave a legacy
It's that we loved each other well
Cause I've seen the shadows of so many people
Trying on the treasures of youth
But a road that's fancy and fast ends in a fatal crash
And I'm glad we got off to tell you the truth

I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart
We'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
Adding up the total of a love that's true
Multiply life by the power of two

the eloquence and poignancy and simplicity of these emotions astound me. shivers up my spine.

- Alex is a soppy romantic

Back to back dinners

Back from a week in Japan! It was a fun, quirky, expensive experience. While it might have been better if we had spent the weekend in Tokyo instead of at the World Expo, it was definitely a fun trip, and the first time I had travelled together with H in a place that wasn't Singapore or North America.

The World Expo itself was fun, even though we had only one day there. Got to see most of the country displays, and some of the commercial sites, which were actually much lamer than the country sites. The anime mascots were cute... Kiccoro and Morizo. We then spent tons of time just walking around Tokyo and getting a feel for the city.

Things that stick out in my mind from the trip :

a) The HUGE plethora of vending machines. Hot canned drinks... who would've thunk it? And a vending machine selling bouquets of flowers...

b) The absolute lack of trash cans everywhere except next to convenience stores and vending machines. Since it is not considered polite to eat and drink at the same time

c) Toilets with warmed seats, machines that clean and dry you after your business is done... you get the idea

d) The punctuality of the train systems

e) Cool Japanese technology that sounds great but works bad

f) Pachinko parlours that stink of cheap cigarettes and sweat

g) Good food. The wide variety of convenience store stuff, Kaiseiki (a ritual Japanese meal), tempura, GREEN TEA ICECREAM! (and everything else green tea), and tiramisu flavored with soya powder... yum

h) Swing dancing in a reggae bar

i) The sheer number of people all crammed into one city. Scary

j) And finally, the amazingly efficient inefficiency that pervades the city. Everyone is on time and works hard, but sometimes, you might have 8 people to greet you on the way to your hotel room! One to hold open the door, one to greet you at the door, one to say hi at the hotel room, one to hold open the lift.... you get the idea

On a separate note, this coming Wednesday is the one-year anniversary. That's right. Can't believe it's been a year since the ceremony in Vancouver. Going out for seven years and long distance for five. Time sure passes fast, and yet not fast enough, especially when you would like to spend the rest of your life with someone right away right now! :)

And finally, an answer to a brain teaser from a previous blog. Eun was close in her answer. According to my boss, Swedish were originally not very well off in the past and could not afford to go on many holidays. So instead, they spent their summers and savings re-decorating their homes, ie. giving money to Ikea! However, as Swedish got wealthier, they ended up spending this same time and money on holidays instead. That's why travel agents compete with Ikea....

Alrite, off to bed now. Good night!

5 hours and counting...

Till i'm on a jet plane....

Japan. H. Nagoya. World Expo. Tokyo. Driving in Japan.

Fun!

Cleared 6 submissions in past 2 hours. Still need to double check packing. Bathe. Tired....


Did 2 things I never thought i would do today.

1) Dressed up to go to a Star Wars movie. My costume sucked, but it sure was fun going with all the fellow geeks, who were way more fanatic about Star Wars than I was. Buying $300 lightsaber, going to Cannes for the weekend to catch the premiere. Wow.

2) Paid 100 bucks to cut and dye my hair. Yeah, u heard me. Dye my hair. It's now a brownish/reddish color that looks like highlights. Kinda cool. And people said they thought it was a refreshing change. Not sure i'll do it again, but was glad for the experience :)

Why did I do them? Cos I decided at the start of this year that my philosophy would be to give everything at least one try so that I would never regret not doing it. Next step : Skydiving :)

Love and hugs everyone. See you soon!

Interesting stories

So, we were talking with our Mayor today (yes, there are mayors in Singapore, strange as that sounds), and got an interesting nugget of information.

Ikea competes with travel agents. Strange yes? Any ideas why that is so? Will leave you to mull over that till the next blog.

Which will likely be in 2-3 weeks time. Why? Going to Japan on vacation! And spending time with H. Very exciting.

That said, the run-up to this vacation has been absolutely monstrously hectic. Tons of stuff to clear, with meetings up the wazoo. It's been challenging though. One minute, I'm interviewing staff for the organisation, the next we're re-visiting the vision and mission (that has remained untouched and unused for 4 years), and then i'm working out the budget for this year.

Someone asked me what I had learnt so far in the Community Development Council. Three points come to mind.
a) Implementation - it is important to bring the same rigour of thought to both policy and operations. Only when our details are aligned with our intent, can implementation really happen.
b) Organisation development - i've had the chance to review and start re-looking structures, training, budget and other corporate matters in the CDC.
c) Challenge - to manage a group of 60+ staff, a budget in the millions, and manage multiple stakeholders, is an awesome opportunity for a young staff...

So yes, I am glad that I took this job. It helps that the culture is really fun, and allows me to be far out and wacky. Where else would the Mayor ask the General Manager to highlight his hair? :P Which i just might... tomorrow. Hahaha. And where else would the Deputy General Managers call their boss an idiot and a spastic (in loving terms of course), and smack him for being silly.

On that note... this spastic General Manager is signing off :)

Time-travelling to a performance

Dear blog,

sorry to have neglected you for so long, but the past few weeks have been really busy. Have been getting back into running and working out (altho not losing any weight still), and my workload has suddenly increased quite tremendously. Meetings galore, and all these papers to clear and things to think through all of a sudden. While still worrying about whether I'm really doing my job. No wonder H keeps chiding me bout work.

Last weekend was particularly bad. Had tons to stuff to do, including work, and booking hotels for Japan.

Sat : performance class, dancing at Harry's
Sun : Rehearsal with K for performance, and hanging out with friend
Mon : D&D!

That seems to be the pattern nowadays. And to think that just a short while ago i was thinking that my life didn't seem very full (i know what H will say to that...)

This week has been equally packed, especially since I had a performance with K at the Singapore American School on Wednesday. While i've choreographed some pieces before, this felt different. Performing on a real live stage, in front of so many people... it was a rush! And the funny thing was that I wasn't even nervous about it. It was just plain fun. And that's the 3rd piece i've choreod in 8 months.

That's part of what I enjoy about lindy. There are always new aspects to explore. Just like how me and Eun are gonna help teach a taster class at RJC this month. Guess it really is my replacement for acapella.

And now... for some random link madness

Geek central - time travelling conventions ... but not much worse than a D&D session, i suppose

My favorite blog - Mimi! I love her, and I love Nora! Makes me want to raise kids like right now....

We dressed up as Jap girls and boys to lindy bomb Swing Girls the movie! Fun! Pics here

Lindy

Seems strange that I've lindy-hopped for over 3 years now... but have yet to talk about what it means to me.

What is lindy-hop? It started off as a replacement for acapella, as a way to form a social network after having uprooted and dragged myself back to Singapore. But after dancing for 3 years, it's become more than that, cliched as it sounds.

Lindy is a way to express myself and connect with other people. Deep down at heart, I'm an insecure geek who always wants to be liked :) So I appreciate lindy cos i can stop worrying about looking "cool" and just be my normal nerdy self on the dance floor. At the same time, it's a way to enjoy and connect with good music, with awesome lyrics, with amazing singers.

One dilemma in lindy is : am I dancing for my partner, or are we dancing for the audience? This is something that i've been thinking about after taking part in a competition or two. The answer is probably that it depends, and that the truth probably lies somewhere between the two. And that's one of the main joys of lindy. That there is always something more to discover, whether it be in the connection between a follow and a lead, in the interplay between dance and music that we like to call expression and musicality, in the lines, in the body isolations. Despite the plateaus, the troughs, the sheer fun that comes with a lindy breakthrough is plain exhilirating.

But most importantly, lindy for me is about the people. Lindy is not a solo dance... It is a partnership between the lead and follow. The magic lies in the connection, the interplay between the frames of both dancers, the dialogue between the two of us and the music. I'll never forget the dance between Bill Borgidda and Sing at SeaJam in 03. Sheer artistry and magic.

Beyond the dance, however, is the community. I've talked about aspects of the community before. About how it rocks. About how it's great that the people there aren't like the stereotypical cookie-cutter Singaporeans. About how above all, people enjoy each other's company :)

Wanna lindy today?

Ritalin, Geeks and Other Irrelevant Topics

For the geeks who read my blog, here's a D&D comic that's darn funny... the Order of the Stick. Be warned.... it is only funny if you are a D&D geek like i am. Hsien and Eric have attested to this.

H said the other day that if I wasn't so smart, I would probably suffer from extreme Attention Deficit Disorder. Maybe it's true.... I have literally several lines of thought running through my brain at any one time, which is probably why I speak so fast, and why I have to force myself to concentrate on a single train of thought when speaking or presenting in a business setting. Friends (and H in particular) have often displayed puzzled expressions during conversations as I jump from logic point A to logic point Z in a single set of sentences, cos my brain moves so much faster than my mouth :P

Maybe that's why I enjoy running or swimming, especially with a good set of tunes in the MP3 player. It's the only time when my brain can just wander, cos everything else is focused on putting one foot in front of the other.

Random thoughts that came while running :
- They should invent something that automatically untangles headphone wires for you
- How to surprise the party during the next D&D session
- Calculating how many days till H gets here
- and so it goes...

Yeah, my brain sure has a lot of garbage in it.

Potpourri

Don't have a burning issue to yap on about today, so here's a smattering of extremely random thoughts.

Favorite sinful food :
1) Bacon
2) Green tea frappucino
3) Creamy pasta
4) Chocolate!
5) TIRAMISU

wow. it's amazing i haven't become the stay-puffed marshmallow man yet.

TV Shows :
Will and Grace - funny funny show. so campy and yet so witty. but I wish they would make the characters more life-like.
Charmed - a truly guilty pleasure. the plots have more holes in them than swiss cheese. yet, how much fun is it to see 3 attractive witches cavorting around in fashionable clothes while trying to destroy various threats to the world?
'Ello 'Ello - fav sitcom of all time. A Brit sitcom set in occupied France during WWII. The Brit actors speak in faux-French accents. What a BRILLIANT idea! Good Moaning! I am here to piss you a massage! Those who have seen this show know what i mean.

What do I look for in friends? Not someone perfect, that's for sure. That would only make me barf. Besides having shared interests, I connect with people who are at least aware of, and try to deal with their own issues. Whether it be religion, or parents, or even sexuality. Is that another term for emotional maturity? Talking with people who say things because they have been taught to do so drives me batty. Reminds me of too many religions, and the relationship that people here have with the Singapore government :). They either complain and grumble with no constructive comments, or accept meekly while seething underneath. There is never one right policy, and the assumptions you make will always drive the conclusions you get.

Can't remember where I said this, but it's like I have 2 different sets of friends sometimes. There are the school and work friends, most of whom are proceeding along this track in life towards the 2.4 kids and the 5 Cs (Condo, credit card, cash, car, children?), and moving up and on. And then there are the lindy friends, who are geeky, quirky (or a combination of both), and taking different routes through life (full-time lindy teacher, insurance agent cum entrepreneur, sabbaticals, whatnot). Am I then a combination of both types? The scaredy-cat who wants comfort and safety, but envies those who dare to venture beyond? Man, I am a bundle of contradictions today :)

Signing off,
Ajantis

Ohaiyo! Japan dash!

Woo hoo! Going to the World Expo! Always wanted to go to Japan, and now's the chance to do it!

Japan is a country which we always fetishize, even in Singapore. Think about Dance Dance Revolution, Para Para, Japanese schoolgirl outfits, kawaii anime and manga. Not to mention all the Japanese-oriented youth sections that have opened up in places like Far East and Bugis, which are supposedly but pale imitations of Harajuku district in Tokyo.

The West is far worse in its depictions of Japan. Lost in Translation, The Last Samurai, Karate Kid, are but a few examples of how the supposed alien-ess of Japan is used to make a point.

That philosophical aside aside, i am interested in finding out how true these depictions are. I want to hear midi music in the underpass, singing bathtubs, strange Glay-inspired teens in Harajuku, the works.

Speaking of strange things, one of the faster growing sports in the US is synchronized ice skating for guys! And it started in Ann Arbor (the university town where I studied) half a century ago... To top it off, one of the guys who takes part in the New York Team is a 67 year old man, who retired at 55, tried painting in an ashram for 4 years, then took up synchronised ice skating after he realised that he sucked at it. Talk about bizarre sports. This is something that the director of Water boys and Swing Girls should make a movie about...

On a completely different topic, Gimble had its 8th anniversary concert last night! Gimble was my first acapella group, and it will always have a very special place in my heart. The friendships made were truly valuable ones, and I will always be thankful for the experiences and relationships forged in the 3 wonderful years there. I grew up tremendously, both musically and personally. Even the occasionally unpleasant episodes that are natural to any group of friends were great learning experiences for me. I learned to loosen up, to not have such a high and mighty view of my own importance (yeah i was a stuck up prig...), and these are lessons/truths that I have taken away with me.

It was tough to leave acapella behind upon coming back to Singapore, but after a while I realised it was time to move on. And lindy hop came along :) And I found yet another group of wonderful friends to hang out with. Bee, Oats, Footloose, HM, Mingers, Tra, DaSwingMan, Selena, L, WITSSH, Goldfish, Arie, C.... ha ha the list goes on.

I am grateful for these good friends in my life. Maybe that's a good note to end this post on.

Cheers!

Long short weekend

Thursday : Dinner, then swing fling, then Harry's, then supper.
Friday : Dress up as Jap schoolboy, watch Swing Girlzu, lindy bomb cinema, Harry's
Saturday : Bal-swing, Performance Lindy, Work, Harry's.
Sunday : Day off, Gym.

Is it any wonder that my body feels like it's been pummeled by a thousand sumo wrestlers right now? That said, this is one of the best weekends i've had in Singapore in a while. Haven't stayed up this late this often since college. which was 5 years ago at this point.

Swing Girlzu was ultra-fun! Imagine 15 girls and guys all dressed up as Japanese students, all dancing in the cinema at the end to Sing Sing Sing. And the New Paper even showed up! Who says Singaporeans aren't sponteneous. And the movie was a delightful combination of cheese, camp and Japanese humour.

Performance Lindy class was fun too. I was apprehensive at first ; part of the reason i didn't go for performance lindy the first time was because of my knees and also because i was afraid of not being able to do the aerials/moves. That said, I took to heart what someone said... it is not the cost of doing something, it is sometimes the opportunity cost of NOT doing something that is important. Why let an irrational fear stop us from trying something out? That's of course different from doing something reckless... :) That said, it was interesting trying to figure out how to work my muscles to do things like backward rolls and handstands. Personally, I found the aerial preps easier than the rolls and stands :P. So, the whole point of that convoluted set of sentences was that while I am still somewhat sucky at performance lindy, class was enjoyable. Gives me additional impetus to go the gym, that's for sure. We'll see where and how this goes.

Told Arie and L about H last night on MSN. Their reaction was really cool and touching. Am glad that I got to share this part of my life with them.


Anyway, back to work tomorrow! Time to be serious again :)

happy happy!

got promoted. got a raise. got a good bonus this year. life feels good right now ^^

anyone seen the latest playstation portable? might just go get one. or maybe a bang and olufsen sound system (drool)

gonna do an extremely silly thing today. maybe i'll post the pics on here later.

Life and Death

The Terri Schiavo case saddens me.

First of all, I have to state that I unequivocally believe in living life to the fullest, regardless of the obstacles and curveballs thrown in our way.

And that is why this whole incident is upsetting. So many doctors have testified that Terri is in a "persistent vegetative state", with no hope of recovering normal cognition. But the hope and belief that somehow Terri will wake up someday keeps her parents fighting for her survival. Despite the fact that people who have woken up from such comas in the past still had functioning brain material. And the worse part is that people who believe in the "sanctity of life" project their values onto her case, and make her out to be a test case of the issue of abortion.

Still, i find myself asking. If all evidence points to the fact that she cannot recover, and that she will remain aware and unconscious, is keeping Terri alive in some ways denigrating the sanctity of life? By fixating on the fact that she sometimes smiles or moves, despite the point that her brain is mostly dead, are we projecting our own fears of death or values onto a case in the face of scientific and objective evidence?

Is letting her go instead the more courageous thing to do? To release our own emotional ties so that someone we love can stop leading a mere facimile of life?

Again, I have to emphasise that I am all for life. I was reading about the case of a former national water polo player who was stricken by ALS. Once muscular, his arms are now sticks and he can barely raise his hands. Yet, he has accepted his condition and lives as meaningful a life as he can. That he continues to strive against his condition in such a way is deeply worthy of our respect.

Accepting our fears, and learning to let go, can sometimes be the most courageous thing a person can do.

Atheist Agnostic Religious Fanatic

Had to blog about this. It's one of the most powerful articles i've read in a while. Honest. Sincere. So much resonance, especially in a world where religions seem to keep defining issues in more black and white manners.

H and I have always debated about religion. H is an atheist. I am an agnostic, mainly because it is somewhat more comforting to think that there is a greater being out there that can make sense of all the wonderful and crap things that happen around us.

After reading this article, i'm not so sure. Maybe choosing not to believe in a greater thing or entity out there is the more courageous thing to do, because it forces you to take responsibility for your own actions.

Part of the reason I have never been able to join an organised religion is because I feel like too many variants of it focus on blame and guilt and closing off debate. But i appreciate the sense of community that religion provides. Yet, there are many other ways for us to be part of the communities around us. And this article only reinforces that point for me.

I literally felt a shiver up my spine while reading this article. The emotional truth came through for me. And the way she raises her kid. It's so darn awesome.

Neptune... Uranus... and other solar bodies

So.... went to dinner at the Neptune Theatre tonight, which by the way is the only topless cabaret act in Singapore. Let's just say the experience was a little surreal. Here goes...

1) Come in and the first thing you see is a cabaret act. Swing number. Good! Then you realise that the lady is wearing some leather S&M thingy that leaves the cheeks exposed..... The second cabaret act is equally interesting... a strange hybrid of russian and indian moves. Of course, i didn't stay for the topless part at the end.

2) The MC was off-the-wall, as is usual for most MCs at most dinner-type events in Singapore. Singapore MCs must go through some whacked-out training school, where they are probably shown the worst comedy movies ever (which includes anything by Chevy Chase or Martin Short), and then drugged and beaten over the head till they have lost all sense of reason or humour. This must be the reason why MCs decide that they have to make everyone play stupid games and be as un-dignified as they are on stage. which is what this MC did during this dinner.

3) There are unopened bottles of Guiness and wine on the table, just begging to be opened. Wanton debauchery awaits!

4) The guest of honour proceeds to warble out My Way to raise funds, with everyone going up to present orchids.

5) I take my leave, hoping to catch a cab. and then end up walking 20 minutes to City Hall MRT and giving up and taking the MRT home. Cabs are an endangered species in the City Hall area. Anyone who says there are too many cabs in Singapore needs to be beaten over the head with a really really sharp idiot stick. Or spend some time running around like a headless chicken waving down anything that remotely looks like a cab.

Got to meet up with some old secondary school friends. It sure seems like our school produces geeks. 2 of us are doctors, 1 a lawyer, 1 a civil servant and the last a computer programmer. In some ways we all haven't changed from the nerds that we were in secondary school. We still like computer/video games, and we still play board games. The nice thing though was that we agreed to meet up for more stuff, like badminton or Dungeons and Dragons. That's definitely one thing I need to do this year, which is to get back in touch with some of my old friends. Oh, and the restaurant, Mouth Restaurant? It sucks big time. If you want good dim sum, go to a Tung Lok restaurant anyday.

Such a cliche

Sitting in a bar, enjoying music with some friends, celebrating the birthday. Then you realise the music is from a station that woke up quite a while ago on the other side of the bed from "hip", and landed right square in the middle of "dull". And the one person at the table below twenty years of age is bored.

Is this what getting older means? Does it really boil down to such a cliche?

Top 5 Favorite Songs
1. Galileo by the Indigo Girls
2. Slide by Goo Goo Dolls
3. Big Machine by Goo Goo Dolls
4. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
5. Angel by Sarah Mclachlan

See a pattern? Some call it lesbo-rock/folk, i prefer to call it folk/pop alternative :)

While the songs all have good tunes, part of what makes them special are the lyrics. Poetic is the only word that comes to mind. I recall sitting in at a performance by a singer-songwriter who had just started out in the industry. She wasn't bad, but it gave me a much greater appreciation for the craft and artistry of people like Tracy and Sarah.

Do you pay more attention to the lyrics or tune of a song?

Ever cried cos a song was too too good? Or gotten swept up in a song on the spur of the moment. I have.

--- all drugged up on flu medicine. stream of consciousness prevails!

Milestones

This is the 10th year since leaving JC.

More than half of my friends have kids, are getting married, or are progressing towards marital bliss.

Will be 28 next week.

Time flies. Do we find ourselves becoming the things we swore that we would avoid when we were young? Or were we foolish back then? Sometimes, I look back at who I was 10 years ago, and feel like that was a completely different person. So many life experiences and memories. The cliched storyline where the protagonist wishes he could talk to his younger self from many years ago... that has more resonance now.

But yet I feel like things are standing still. Maybe it's because I want to have a family but can't yet. Maybe it's not having a special someone physically present. There are many things I miss about not having H around. Having someone to rant to, to be comforted by at the end of a long and weary day : that is something infinitely precious that I miss each and every moment.

Tracy Chapman's Fast Car
You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Anyplace is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we'll make something
But me myself I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car
But is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
We leave tonight or live and die this way

I remember we were driving driving in your car
The speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
And I had a feeling that I belonged
And I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

Service... or a lack of it

Why does service in Singapore suck so much?

Go to any normal restaurant, and the only time you see the server is :
a) when he takes your order
b) when he brings your ONE measly cup of water
c) when he settles your bill (after much desperate hand-waving and assorted other gestures to get the server's attention)

And yet, we have come to expect this kind of service, even in fine dining establishments. And to top it all off, the restaurant charges us a 10% service charge. Only in Singapore can we get foul service, pay a 10% surcharge and deal with it, yet complain about everything else under the sun ^^

Maybe part of the problem is that servers here don't get to keep the tip, unlike in the US, where up to 80% of a server's wages can come from tips alone. Over there, I've never had to stare down waiters for water, never had servers give me blank looks when asking about the soup of the day, never had to literally pull servers by the scruff of their necks to the table to settle the bill.

Ok, so maybe Singaporeans are stingy, and don't like to tip so that they can keep their bills down. Fine. Then why charge a 10% service charge when there is. Literally. No. Service? Yeesh.

Rant done. Over and out.

You know you're a geek....

when you ....

1) play Dungeons and Dragons in your late 20s

2) wore HUGE black plastic glasses as a teenager

3) lindy hop

4) squeal watching mildly scary movies

5) can't wear UFO pants without looking silly

6) are a video and computer game addict

7) act so spastic that your staff call you an "idiot" (in a good way) :D

8) are insecure

9) are described by a friend as a "white-bread momma's boy" (and M, you know who you are)

10) get WAY too excited over a chocolate buffet

It's been a while....

wow, haven't blogged for a while. so many things to blog about.... where shall i start?

Well... SEAJAM was just over, and it rocked! Even if my feet felt like solid knots of pain by the end of the camp, it was worth it :D Going to lindy hop camp always gives me new insights about my own dancing. Bee and I won the competition (free SEAJAM next year), but i realised from everyone's comments that i need to have more energy in my dancing. Something to think about over the next year.

Work has been good, and I like the culture in my new job. Still trying to adjust to the fact that i report directly to a politician. I spazzed out when i realised that there was no immediate superior in the office to turn to for guidance.... but am over that now. Now, I'm just trying to figure out how i can best value add to the organisation given how directly hands-on the politician can be... But hey, one insecurity at a time, yes? :)

WoW!

Been playing a ton of World of Warcraft.... it's a fun game. And WAY too addictive. Something about orcs doing the breakdance and female bulls (called Tauren) doing riverdance routines when u do the /dance command just rocks my world. Zug zug zug...

Long distance small distance
Had an interesting conversation with Fred the other day about relationships. When H and I end this long distance relationship and move together, there will definitely be some issues to sort out. For one thing, one or both of us will need to uproot and leave behind our current social networks. On this trip, I realised that our mutual friends have now moved away, and H and I have formed different social networks. This made it harder for me to connect with H's friends at times. Compounding this will be the fact that one or both of us will be looking for jobs....
That said though, I am quite confident that our relationship can withstand the stress. In some ways, being in a long-distance relationship has made me more appreciative of what the two of us have.

Guess that's all for now. I wanted to rant about credit cards and their insane annual fee charges, oh and the complete stupidity of the 10% service charge in Singapore restaurants... But i guess that can wait for later :)