Well actually...

I did have another thing to blog about.

Gonna be moving to another job in a month or so. I was telling H that I feel lucky. For the challenging job that i've held, for the wonderful staff and colleagues that i've worked with, and for the chance to have had an impact on peoples' lives at so young an age.

That probably came off as platitudes but it's true. I feel a great deal of responsibility to the people that I work with, precisely because they have to deal with new bosses every 2-3 years, which is never easy. That's why I still kick myself everytime I miss something and fail to give proper guidance. It's not easy, leading or managing a team. Give too much direction, and you stifle your staff. Give too little, and you end up asking where your own value add is. That said, as I look back on the past 2.5 years in this job, I do feel like i've grown more adaptable, learnt new skills that will stand me in good stead.

That seems like a good way to end it.

Cheers.

I'm Leavin' On a Jet Plane

Dear blog....

1am now and i can't sleep. too excited. leaving in 5 hours for Michigan, where I get to spend 2.5 weeks with H. Did i mention i was excited???

Spamalot!!!!

Ahhh... i'm so excited! Just found out that Monty Python's Spamalot is having its WORLD premiere in Chicago the week that i'll be there. H is trying to book tickets now!

For those not in the know, Spamalot is a Broadway version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail... only one of the funniest movies ever. Vorpal Bunnies, the knights who say "ni"... the list goes on.... And this musical stars David Hyde Pierce, Tim Curry AND Hank Azaria!!!!!

Crossing my fingers that we can get tickets.... ok going to bed cos it's late, but too excited and had to blog

Scrapped Princess

Just spent 4 hours last night and another 5 hours today watching a new anime series called "Scrapped Princess".

Usually i like my anime with plenty of comedy and action. And i generally prefer fantasy to sci-fi when it comes to anime. The only sci-fi anime i have watched and enjoyed so far has been "Neo Genesis Evangelion".... which is actually a little too depressing and meta-physical for my tastes.

Anyway "Scrapped Princess" is a fantasy anime about this princess who was abandoned from birth because a prophesy has stated that she will destroy the world when she turns 16. Just when you have it pegged as a traditional fantasy show, then all the sci-fi trappings come into play, and they are well-integrated into the plot.

The relationship between the characters and the elements of comedy all fit really well together. I think this show belongs right up there with Slayers, which i like because of the heroine (Lina Inverse), the magic and the super-deformed characters (kawaii!)

So i would recommend "Scrapped Princess" and "Slayers" for anyone into fantasy anime. If you have any recommendations, do let me know as well...

signing off...

Bungee eegunB

Been meaning to blog, but too many community events to attend this week :) Is this what it's gonna be like when i transfer to my new job? But more about that later.

Went on a reverse bungee 2 weeks ago. Was doing a dry-run for an event, and got offered a chance to take a free trip on the reverse bungee at Clark Quay.

It was definitely more fun than i expected, although i definitely did not expect the bungee to spring us up that fast, or for my heart to take 15 seconds to catch up to the rest of my body.

That said, i'm glad I did it. I'm a scaredy-cat, always have been. So i'm glad i can look back someday and tell my kids that yes, I did go on a reverse-bungee once, even if it felt like my heart was somewhere in the lower part of my body during the ride.

And yes, i'm even more resolved to try and run a half marathon by the end of next year. Currently at 4.2 km in 20 min and counting!

2359

So i took part in a lindy hop competition this past Saturday. While i did feel "sabo-ed" for a bit, i'm glad that i did it. It was fun, and it was a great experience working with Swingling and realising we could come up with a halfway decent choreo in 2.5 hours. Definitely something i'll feel proud of, and be glad to bore my kids with someday when i'm a middle-aged geezer.

I wouldn't do it again, primarily because i feel that lindy hop for me is more about the music and the partner than the performance. But i definitely have much more respect now for my friends in the Lindy Hop Performance Company.

That got me thinking about another topic. A friend once talked to me about having a checklist of things that they would have liked to do in life. I kinda liked that concept. Doesn't have to be anything major : fly a kite, ride a dune buggy, etc etc.

So performing in the competition got me thinking.... what else would i like to do, that i've been putting off? Swing dance in Herrang (4-5 years down the road), go bungee jumping, learn how to ride bicycle.... After thinking about it, i realised that I really want to run a marathon, now, before I get too old to try again. I've always liked running, and now that my knees are not acting up, it's the perfect time to do it. Gonna start small, aim for either a 10km or half-marathon run next year.

So there you have it. Hopefully by this time next year, I can post here that I've either run a 10km or a half-marathon.

signing off.....

Chocolate therapy

Well today was a frustrating day.

When things don't go well, or when i end up in arguments with other departments or even other agencies, it always gets me annoyed. Partly because i'm a pseudo-perfectionist, and partly because i'm just a control-freak . Heh.

The problem is that I end up obsessing endlessly over something that I can't really do anything about. It's always been a failing of mine... this inability to walk away from something that I feel I must conquer. Thanks to friends, and thanks to a significant other, I've gotten better at taking a step back and taking a breath when I really need to. But it's still hard. At least now I can recognise when it happens. My vision narrows... and i literally feel my thoughts going in an endless loop.

Days like these make me wonder whether I can actually work for 40 more years till retirement. But that's too morbid and too self-involved a thought :)

Sleep, and a good comedy... and maybe some good chocolate. That's what I need.. i think i hear the Timeout bars calling me :)

Bush won. Whoop de doo. I've been avoiding writing about it just because the whole thing made me so heartsick.

Used to think i wanted to live in the States. Land of the free, home of the brave. A place where your aspirations will come true if you work hard enough. You know, that line from "An American Tail" where Fievel sings that America is the place "where the streets are paved with cheese".

Studied there, still thought America was an amazing place. But ran into a particular species of American called the born-again Christian. But deep down inside, I always thought that the US was still a benign place, where born-again Christians and religious conservatives were more of a blip on the radar screen.

Reading the headlines the day after the election kinda shattered that illusion. Equal turnout of democrats and republicans. 51-49. Largest victory margin for a president. That implies that the US is essentially a conservative country. Bleah.

I'll say it again. BLEAH.

Ok rant over.

Random amusing thought.

Friends who know me also know that i'm probably one of the most avid multi-taskers ever. In fact, i feel uncomfortable if i'm not multi-tasking in some form or another. That probably explains why I fidget so much, which also explains how i manage to stave off the pounds.... Studies have shown that fidgeters blow up to 300-500 calories a day by fidgeting.

Anyway, a friend of mine from the US pointed out that I have a brain like a computer. I can handle a lot of tasks very quickly at the same time... but when something unexpected/bad happens aka a bug, then everything comes to a crashing halt and i end up obsessing about it for way too long a time.

Kinda interesting.... to think of my brain as a computer :P hmmmm.....

God I hope Kerry wins, even though i'm not optimistic.

Republicans bug me big-time. The very idea that they want to post people in Ohio to challenge voters is an act of pure dis-enfranchisement and utter blasphemy. The very hypocrisy makes me want to scream and hurl something at them. But no, that would be too good for the Republicans, cos it would be acknowledging them as human beings.

Ok rant over.

Read through my friends' blogs earlier this evening. It's so interesting to see everyone's blogging styles. Maybe it reveals something about a person. Mine, for instance, tend to be long-drawn out rambling pieces. Maybe i'm just long-winded that way :P

Ok. Wow.

I think i just saw a movie that will stay with me for some time, if not the rest of my life. Maybe i'll look back on this post in a few years and cringe at how cliched that sounds, but that's how i feel right now.

Before Sunset. Just caught it with a bunch of friends. A movie that seems so natural, and yet is so well-put together. It's a sequel to Before Sunrise, a 1994 movie in which characters played by Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke meet up and forge a connection over one night in Vienna. They agree to meet 6 months later in Vienna.... and this movie is about what has happened to the two characters 9 years later.

I won't go into the details of the movie, but suffice to say that the movie is suffused with tones of bittersweet reminiscence of what could have been, and hope that a re-connection could have been established. Julie Delpy (Celine) and Ethan Hawke (Jesse) both fall into the easy rhythms of their characters, and something in the way they talk, look and enjoy each other's presence indicates that the two of them have a soul-deep connection that neither can explain.

I enjoyed this movie a lot more than Before Sunrise, which i thought was a little too talky at times. This one is emotionally richer, and the fact that it takes place over 80 minutes of real-time makes the characters and the conversation much more real. There are great lines, and great conversational humour, and there are moments of quiet when a shiver just goes up your spine. When Jesse and Celine's emotions and pain spill out into the open, I couldn't help but feel for these characters.

Even now, thinking back on certain scenes, make me feel both happy and sad. Sad for the lost chances, and yet happy that Celine and Jesse got a second chance. So many thoughts are bouncing in my mind right now... but few movies have ever made me feel this fuzzy and happy inside.

Maybe it's because i identify with the movie. Being in a long-distance relationship, feeling like sometimes i'm running in place till we can be together again, envious of friends who have left Singapore or managed to settle down with their significant others in Singapore....

Such a movie gives me renewed hope. Light at the end of the tunnel... and all that

Been kinda stressed out at work lately.... and thinking back, i realise that i fell into the trap of letting someone push my buttons

I've always been touchy when it comes to issues of right and wrong. Funny thing is, I hate people who jump to quick judgements, who make moral judgements in their own mental boxes. Yet at the same time, I react vehemently when I feel that someone has wronged me.

Then I over-react. My emotions seize up, and my brain can't focus on anything except the act.

This has always been an issue for me, I guess. Must be the temper I inherited from mom. Have always lost my temper when I felt that something wasn't going right, and I'll be the first one to admit that I was often petulant and petty when I was a kid. One of my most significant growing up experiences was in college. I had ranted at my college acapella group over email cos I felt that they weren't pulling my weight. They of course proceeded to ignore me, which was a humbling experience. Looking back on it now, it's both funny and cringe-worthy.

A friend of mine once commented that I was the most driven and determined person she had ever seen. I guess sometimes it's useful to take a step back, take a deep breath, and not think about stuff. Yup, just gotta keep going.

I've always been a voracious reader, but most of the books i read tend to fall into the fantasy category. Lone Wolf, David Eddings, Piers Anthony.

Any time i've read other types of books, it's always been for class, and they all tend to be serious. Ibsen, Charles Dickens, Asian-american literature... you get the idea Which might explain why I tend to zoom straight to fantasy. It's like brain candy (good brain candy, but candy nonetheless)

Anyway, the point is... i've decided that I want to consciously expand my reading repertoire. Doesn't mean I'll go and pick up Chauncer from Borders though , but it does mean i might pick up something other than the next Dungeons and Dragons book.

As a result, I've been reading What's Eating Gilbert Grape? over the past week. Saw the movie and liked it, so decided to give the book a shot. And i've loved it. Although the book's main character is a 24 year old emotionally stilted guy in the middle of Iowa, I felt a lot of empathy for the story and the titular hero of the book. The little insecurities and frustrations of everyday life, the simple minutiae and battles that we fight, and a stifling sense of ennui... these are all things that I feel from time to time. And this is one of the few times that I felt a sense of resolution and release upon reaching the emotional conclusion of the book. So for anyone looking for a good read, I would strongly recommend it.

Another book I've been flipping through is a collection of memoirs by Amy Tan (of Joy Luck Club). In it, she talks about her life and how her experiences have shaped her writing. Will write more about it in a future blog, but the first thing that leapt out at me is how Asian mothers the world over all seem to have similar issues and also pass on the same emotional baggage to their kids.

Wow... it's been a long long time since I posted... and so much has happened since then. Switched jobs, fractured my hand, got married. Moments like these always make me realise that life is passing by so fast.

Fracturing my hand is definitely something an event that i will look back on and remember. It's really the first time i've ever injured myself. When the senior orthopedic surgeon looks at you and intones solemnly, "that looks serious", you start to get worried. And functioning with one hand is definitely an interesting experience. Makes you realise that the human body is a fragile thing. We all have our usual accumulation of aches and joint problems, but to be handicapped like that is a humbling experience especially since we tend to assume that we're invincible when we're young. I know fracturing one's hand doesn't compare to others who have had far more serious things happen to them, but it was still a life-changing experience in its own small way.

And the funny part was that it happened right before I got married in June this year. Yet another life-changing experience. We chose a park in Vancouver (where we were vacationing), and the weather and scenery was perfect. I was really glad that my mom was there to share in the moment, and that I was able to make this commitment to someone whom I love very much. Sometimes, it just feels right, you know? This was one of those moments.

I guess life will always move on, but I will always look back on moments like these and think, that was a life worth living. They might not be earth-shattering, but they matter to me and the people I love.

The funny thing was that I was originally gonna talk about my shrinking social circle (now that my lindy friends are leaving for greener pastures) but this seems a good spot to end. Guess i'll talk about it some other day :)