Who would've thunk it?

So all the cards are on the table. The process has been, quite simply, magical so far. The people i've met are all passionate about the business, and all team-centred. The boss has been upfront, transparent, and forthright with me. I didn't quite know how to react when he told me to counter-propose a salary i was comfortable with, and not just accept the offer in front of me.

I got different pieces of advice from different friends (thanks everyone), but in the end, i decided that i would make an offer that was fair to both me and the company. And remarkably, my offer was accepted without any real hassle. Politic-free. How refreshing. That's gonna take me a while to get used to. Part of me wonders if i should have asked for more, but it's time to move past the numbers (which are quite impressive) and look at the opportunity in front of me.

So now it's just a matter of seeing the formal letter of offer. The job scope is intimidating, no doubt. But think of how much I could learn!

Ajantis will not be a civil servant for much longer....

Random movies and sensitive thoughts

Scary movie - Jesus Camp

Cool movie - 49 Up

Tried to run my long run today, but just didn't have the mental stamina today. It's all right, i figure i'll try again on Wednesday.

Went to the library today and got around to borrowing some books on management and leadership. I've resolved to spend more time learning about areas relevant to both my personal life and work. Some of the key areas i want to read up on :

1) Management/leadership (and all related aspects)
2) Knowledge management
3) Team learning
4) Change management
5) Budgeting and accounts (ugh)

Part of me wants to blog about how frustrating life can be in Singapore but i can't seem to put my finger on what to write about. I wrote about how Singapore Dreaming resonated with me when i watched it a few weeks ago. Perhaps it's the sense of frustrated potential and opportunities in the movie that i feel when i think about life in Singapore. I like a lot about life here. The safety, the predictability, the meritocracy. But it often feels like there is no time to stop and smell the roses, to take alternative paths and the path less trodden. The risk of expressing oneself in "unsafe" ways makes it so much easier to take the normal path and swallow the conventional wisdom. The government can engage religious groups and other segments of society as part of its consultation process, but it refuses to engage the GLBT Singaporeans, because doing so would mean recognising it as a segment of society, an action too politically sensitive with too little economic upsides for the government to consider. Yes, one of the key strengths of the Singaopre government is its ability to mobilise and act with uncanny swiftness and coherence, and much of that strength is predicated on the fact that it does not need to deal with too many dissenting voices. Me? I prefer a little messiness in my life. I would rather trade some tideness for the mental freedom to consider alternative lifestyles, alternative choices, alternative voices.

I once read a political science text about American politics. Something in that text really stuck with me. It defined power as 3 levels. The first level of power is about deciding between items on the agenda. The second level of power comes when you get to decide what gets on the agenda. And the third level of power happesn when you can even define the problems/items that could get on the agenda.

It strikes me that the Singapore government has in effect achieved the 3rd level of power. It has control over what gets on the agenda. Nothing wrong with that, if that's how you want to live.

Ajantis is kinda cynical tonight....

Looking at life in a mirror

The job offer is on the table. I just need to find out the hard facts (like the salary!) before i affirm my decision. It's kinda frustrating in some ways. I know what i want my decision to be, and i want to make it now, but the pragmatic (perhaps cautious) part of me is still holding back, waiting and wanting to see some numbers on the table.

Meanwhile, life goes on, and it should go on. I need to not slack on work. It's amazing how one offer like this can potentially alter your plans for the next few years. One minute I was thinking of doing the MBA, now the MBA is the furthest thing on my mind. One minute we were pretty sure about settilng down in North America, now it looks like H might move down to join me in the medium term.

It's a risk of course. I could end up not living up to expectations. But i choose to focus on the positive. Everything's a risk, and this is an opportunity which gives me the chance to learn so much more.

10 years since i started college. It's been a pretty incredible 10 years, really. Sang in an acapella group for the first time, visited 2/3rds of the United States, fell in love, got married, 3 jobs in government over six years, and now.... a possible career switch.

We'll see how this goes.

Ajantis is in a reflective mood tonight...

Dreaming Singapore

Long day today. Went to Queenstown for a conference on Malay-Muslim families, then back home, before going to catch a movie with Oats.

Singapore Dreaming was very touching, down to earth and sincere. I've seen 15, 12 Stories, Lie with Me, and a little bit of Jack Neo's stuff, and these movies often felt like stylised representations of Singapore life. Singapore Dreaming felt like little nuggets and reflections of Singapore life, and the characters felt like real people that you might see on the street or in your block. You really felt for the characters as you saw the things they inadvertently said or did that hurt another person in the family. Literally, death by a thousand paper cuts. The scripting had little moments of truth that were all the more powerful because they were so well delivered by a talented cast. Every line felt natural, even when characters were code-switching or moving between languages. I really felt for the family, and i must confess that i did tear up a little at the end. I guess the film-makers achieved what they set out to do :)

Had a good chat with Oats (at McCafe! hee hee). It was nice to spend a Saturday afternoon

Bought SQ21 on my way to Siglap. I just find it so awesome that the GLBT community in Singapore came together to publish a book, where everyday Singaporeans could just come out and tell their stories about being a gay, lesbian, transexual or bi. It is a powerful statement of courage and bravery, and it really helps to break the public stereotype of homosexuals as meth-addicted sex maniacs which has been fostered by the tabloids in Singapore. I really appreciate that one mother was willing to be featured as a mother of 2 gay children.

I also bought another book on leadership at Borders. While i used to be a little cynical of self-development books, i find that reading such books provides me with a way to reflect on and learn from my personal and work experiences. In reacting to the concepts and ideas in the books, I deepen my own learning from work. For instance, when i was reading the Fifth Discipline, a lot of the ideas and concepts resonated with some of my experiences, and made me think harder about whati had done well and could do better as a manager. Although i had done a workshop about Learning Organisations when i first started work, my learning was much richer now because i had 4 years of work experience to draw on, with 2 in a general management position with more responsibility and autonomy.

Ended the day with dinner at Le Viet (my fav Vietnamese restaurant) and cheesecake at the Cheesecake cafe, which had a very nice vibe to it.

All in all, a nice and relaxing Saturday. In fact, it's my first weekend with no homework at all (even though i still had work in the morning).

Ajantis is dreaming...

Ajantis is a Small Olympian Bear

I had an interesting conversation today. At the end of the day, I ended up with a confirmed job offer in a different industry.

I cannot say how fortunate i feel about this opportunity. It's literally too good to be true. The pay is better, there are opportunities for moving throughout the region, and I could learn a lot from my colleagues as well as the Managing Director. I didn't even have to interview!

Might have to get a car though. That i'm not so thrilled about. Singapore car drivers watch out!

Can't say i'm definitely going to take it yet. There are a lot more issues to think through, including where i want to be after the next 3-4 years.

On a separate, light-hearted note, did i mention how much i love Jasper Fforde? His books are awesome and defy description. Go read it if you have a chance. Also, check out his website. He's often been compared to Terry Pratchett, who by the way is now author of my favoritest quote ever...

"Who do you want to be remembered as the greatest horn player ever, you or some felonious monk?"

Ajantis is a lucky S.O.B

Life is strange

Life is strange.

Steve Irwin's passing was tragic, partly because any death is tragic, and partly because his death was so sudden and accidental.

Every day is a day worth living.