Sitting here staring at my screen

i just planned out my leave for the rest of the year. 18 days of leave to use up.

It effectively means that i'm off from Dec 16. but it also makes me more aware that i'm slowly slipping out of the loop, closing off my projects, marking a new phase in my life.

you know that time when the leaves start falling in late autumn but the first snowflake has yet to fall? that time between seasons when it seems like one breath could tip one season over into the next? that hushed moment you feel just before your life is about to change tremendously? that's what it feels like right now.

it's been a challenge to keep myself motivated, but now that i can see the end in sight, it's clearer what i have to hand over. i need to keep telling myself that i can't finish up everything, that the focus should be to hand over properly so that people can take over. and maybe if i keep telling myself that, i won't feel so guilty.

I know i will have to work far harder than i do right now. The training plan is 18 months long, for goodness sake (and i'll find out what it involves next week). Can i live up to the new job? I don't know. But at least i will have tried.

Ajantis is seizing the day...